Tell me about yourself.
I don’t want to answer this one.
What do you want people to know about you?
I want people to know that I don’t like the question tell me about yourself. Nothing against all you folks that ask that. I just never know where to start. I think it depends on your setting. If I’m in a class room and the teacher says tell us about yourself. Well, my name is Trevar Simmons, I work as a GRD in Royster. It’s my fourth year here. That type of stuff. But whne it’s one on one like this, so tell me about yourself, I don’t know what to say. I ask this question too, because I’m a hypocrite. I want people to know that.
I want people to know that I like being comfortable. This is randomly on my mind. Decorum dictates in a meeting or when listening to someone you shouldn’t slouch or put hand up over your face or something like that because it means you are not listening and you are disrespecting them. I just want to be comfortable. I apologize for my posture sometimes because I’m afraid it’s going to offend someone. I don’t like that I have to do that. I just don’t want to be uncomfortable just to listen to you.
I like to wear comfortable clothes. So I’m not going to dress up for you. Well, probably not. If I go play at a church on Sunday that someone invited me to, I’ll probably dress nicer than normal. Or when I go preach at some church that I’ve been invited to, I’m going to dress up and take out my earrings. I’m uncomfortable with that. I’m going to do it though because I feel that I am a guest. If I was a guest in a Muslim mosque, and they asked me to, I would do it. And chances are I would have as much in common with Muslims as the Christians that would judge me by my earrings. Who knows, maybe I’m wrong and I shouldn’t have piercings. Who knows, maybe I’m right.
And more with the comfort thing--if I am sitting near you or something and my foot accidentally touches or something, it doesn’t bother me if I touch you. And if you were to move and touch me it doesn’t bother me. You moved it there because you thought it was comfortable. Don’t feel like you need to move it. I like touching. I like physical contact.
I want people to know that I try very hard to remove all the untouchables in my life. Untouchables—it’s not really a familiar word, and I’m using it in a different way. I came across it when I was reading Gandhi’s autobiography. It was talking about untouchables in the sense of the caste system, based on your religion, race, economic status,, would you would be part of the society that no would want, an outcast. Anyways, in my “world view” I don’t want to have anything that cannot be touched by criticism. I want it to be touchable. I believe I have a very strong faith, and I associate myself with the Christian religion. But I feel like, or I highly doubt, I will ever move away from God, and a belief in God, and in Christ, and a belief in God’s power via spirit. But I don’t want to put a fence around that. Because if I put a fence around it, than I’m putting God in a box, and God doesn’t belong in a box. If I put a fence there, I might put it in the wrong place. I might put it a little too far from God.
And it’s scary to not have a fence there, because sometimes it seems that I am wishy-washy and it does not mean that. But it also means that some of my deepest beliefs, some of my favorite beliefs, some of the beliefs I am most passionate about, can come into question and it’s really scary and unnerving to have those questioned. Especially when you have had them for a very long time and you are very passionate about them and very active about them, and than to find out that you might be wrong, that’s rough. But in studying history, and being in relationships with other people, I feel like, for me, it is the best option. I don’t want to have wrong beliefs that cannot be touched. And if I have a right belief and it’s touched, I think it’s going to stand. And sometimes it can be the right belief but in the wrong position. It can have good intentions, but it needs some massaging. It needs to be reformed, and refitted. And so I hope that when I dialogue with people, even if I come across as very, very certain, I am not. I am just passionate. I want to hear what other people think. I hope that I give that a very strong consideration. Because it is possible they are right, and I am wrong. It’s possible that neither one of us are right. But together both of our beliefs can be formed into something better, and something that is “right” or “truth”.
I want people to know that I am hungry. Not all the time. Just right now.
Where were you born?
I was born in Rockport, Maine. In a hospital.
Do you have any brothers or sisters?
I have an older brother who is 31 turning 32. I think. I have a hard time remembering his age. His name is Heath, like the candy bar, Douglas Simmons. He’s a cool guy. I like him.
Did you move around a lot as a child?
I grew up in Friendship, Maine. I stayed in the same house all my life. And I like it because I don’t know anything different.
How did you come to Gardner Webb?
Well, my car took me. (Here I glare at him). I guess I don’t know when graduate school become part of my plans, but it did at some point. My parents said that they would be unable to help me out financial with grad school especially after seeing how much undergrad was. I said I guess I’ll have to get a full tuition scholarship some where and that would narrow down my choices. I always joked at least to myself that it would suck if I got two because than I wouldn’t know where to go.
The Christian History professor, Dr. Gary Poe, had some sort of connection with McAffe School connected with Mercer University and they had this event called “The Scholar’s Day”. Dr. Poe told me that he was allowed to invite two people to the event and he asked if I wanted to be one of those people and I said sure. McAfee flew a me and a friend of mine up to Atlanta and put us up in hotel. Three or four of them were actually from Gardner Webb and we went and had dinner at the Dean’s house and spent the next day in various meetings and interviews and stuff. About a month or so later I found out I had received a full tuition scholarship to McAfee. So, my decision was made for me I thought. Duke and Gardner Webb had also accepted me, but I didn’t know about the tuition. So I e-mailed them both back declining and I got an e-mail back from Gardner Webb saying that if money was the only problem that they would match it.
I found out last year that the admission development department had called up Dr. Goodman, who had taught at Palm Beach Atlantic. They asked him if he had any connections to find out about me to see if they should give me full tuition. Dr. Goodman made some phone calls and decided that he would recommend and said “Yeah, let’s do it.” We might have met but we didn’t even really know each other. I ended up loving him. It was still a rough decision deciding, but I really wanted the English degree. So I decided on Gardner Webb.
Trevar is in the dual degree program pursuing Master of Divinity and Masters of Arts in English (a literary focus).
Do you want to get married and have kids one day?
I don’t want to have kids. For many reasons. It’s a very large responsibility that I don’t know if I will ever be completely ready to tackle, and who really is ready to raise another human being? Just being so unsure about so many things in life, I wouldn’t know what to teach them. I am a huge worrywart and so I would worry about them constantly. I’m sure I would screw them up mentally some how as well. That’s not something I want on me. And I’m not a huge fan of kids. C.S. Lewis would say that’s a defect in me and it probably is. I just have a problem with patience with a child. I just want them to be an adult so that we can do adult things and not kid things. It’s just the way I am.
And this is unfortunate, but most examples of people with children in my life are examples where it’s very hard to be involved in the sorts of ministry that I want to do in my life. I’m positive it can be done, but most of the time people use their children as an excuse not to get involved. I’m not interested in the wealth and fancy things in life and while I’m sure my children would be okay with it if they didn’t know any different, it would be hard for me to not to want to give it to them. And I’m sure it would be hard in school if they didn’t have the nice clothes or the nice toys. I’m sure kids could fit into my plans, but it’s something that you don’t hear a lot about, and it would be new territory, and it would make me nervous to tread it.
As for marriage, I mean I hear a lot about this whole sex thing, and I currently think I will be celibate until marriage, and I’m pretty sure that I will keep that convictions. I would like to have sex sometime because people say that it is amazing, but I’m okay with being single for the most part. And than again sometimes, it is hard to be who I see myself being in the future, with a spouse. I wouldn’t be able to just get up and go where ever I want to go because I would have to think about my spouse. And not in the whole ball and chain thing, but I would think about my spouse because I would love her. Once again I don’t want to have nice things, and not that I can’t find a woman who would be very okay with that, but I would want to get her nice things, because that is how romance is portrayed in our society, and I can’t get around it. There I go blaming society instead of myself.
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