Help people. And have fun doing it. I can’t give you every detail because I don’t know them. There is a verse in Proverbs that says: “Give me neither poverty nor riches”. (Proverbs 30:8) And I want to do that with my life. I don’t want to be rich or poor. If I do make a good amount of money, I don’t want to live like I do. I want to do good things with it. I want to give it away, or fund things. I don’t want to spend it on a big or a nice house. Or maybe not even on a house at all. Because I might not stay in one area long enough. I’m not obsessed with living in a good neighborhood or having a nice car. Or not even a car at all. I don’t need a big TV. I don’t need lots of space or fancy clothes.
For helping people, I might amend it to say, loving people. The reason I said help as opposed to love is because lots of times when people say they want to love people they don’t always do anything about it. They mean love, not that there is anything wrong with it, but they mean loving their church family and their family. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with it or that they don’t need it, but there are so many other people to love. I do want to love my church family, and I pray so much that I can stay in a church somewhere. But I have various and many sundry other dreams, some realistic, some not.
I want to be very innovative in the way that I help people. I believe our God is a god of innovation and creativity and I want to be like that god and be creative and innovative. I would be very okay if I didn’t start anything brand spankin’ new. But the way I do things, I want them to be innovative and creative. I want to be involved with things that are rather new.
I want to encourage people. I’m big on encouraging people. Or, at least I hope I am.
I would like to take over the world. How? Through love of course. I can’t use force because I’m a pacifist. Once I take over the world, maybe I would milk it for fun for a few days. But not oppressing anyone of course. And than I would pray, and say "Jesus, it’s time for you to come back. Because I have the world and I’m giving it to you". I hope that you realize I’m being extremely silly here. I realize that sometimes I try to be funny and it doesn’t work. But I’m okay with that. I realize that maybe I took it too far.
Are you dating someone right now?
What do you mean by dating? (Are you interested romantically in someone?) I mean, you and I have had cribbage dates. Dave and I have had food ministry dates. We’ve had cigar dates. Coffee dates. Sabrina and I have thesis dates. Heather and I have studied—if you know what I mean. So I date a lot of people. I mean, romantically is...kind of a fluid term. If it represents a certain infatuation with another person, I mean I love my friends and I think there is a level of infatuation. Let’s look it up! (We proceed to look up the definition for romance).
I think romance can be a non-sexual thing. For the romantic thing, in the sense that you try to impress people, or you want to make special time for someone—I think I do that on a certain level with my friends. Maybe I try to tide up my apartment a bit before they come. I don’t tidy up for my residents. I want to make sure I have clean dishes if my friends are coming over, or I might take stuff off the couch. If that’s what you mean by dating, having dates or romantic interest in someone. Do I want to have sex with any of you? Not really, no offense. Maybe if I was married to one of you I would want to have sex with you. I hope. (Is there any of us that you maybe want to marry right now?) Nope. (Are you about to propose to someone in the next week?) No. Why are you writing that down? Why aren’t you writing this down? (Here Trevar threw a pillow at me).
Sometimes I think we separate too much the way we love certain people. I think those categories can be very oppressive sometimes. I should be able to show my affection for a friend by holding their hand if I want to. And I’ve done that in my circle of friends. Not everyone is accepting of that. I think it’s very much a social thing, and I don’t like that. In some cultures it’s okay to do things like that, but in ours, not as much. I can’t hold hands with a guy. Or even sit next to each other! Did you know that some guys, if they go see a move, they can’t sit next to each other! They have to have a chair in between them. I think that it is so stupid and it bothers me.
I think that it is a beautiful thing in our language that we can use the word “love” for someone that we love romantically, sexually, and also with your friends. There is much ado about the different words in Greek that can be translated as the English word “love”. And people think that it is so wonderful, and they can express different things and how wonderful it is in Greek. But I love blurring those lines. I can love a taco, and I can love my friend, and I can love God. And I understand that they have different nuances, but they are similar. I’m not saying that you miss it in Greek, but I just love it.
Although I choose to limit sex to one romantic relationship, and that’s just in my life, I choose not to limit romance to a sexual relationship. Romance isn’t sex. You can be physical without being sexual. It’s just a way you love someone, and they way you interact with them. It’s definitely intense, mutual. I just think it involves making both people feel so special.
I have a different definition of romance than most people. The connotation is most often sexual or a dating relationship, like a pursuing sexual romance. But I think it can be the feeling of excitement and mystery. There is always a mystery when people are involved.
How do you relieve stress?
Not very successfully I think. I hope that when I get better at T’ai Chi, that it will be a way to relieve stress. Because I first take a deep breath in and than exhale any stress or tension. I love the way that Amber says that. (Amber is the T’ai Chi instructor at Gardner Webb).
I’ll take walks sometimes. But my stress walks are best at night, and generally late at night. I love the quiet campus at night. Or the beach at night. Or the city at night. You’re not going to run into too many people. I mean in the city you might, but on campus I don’t want to walk into too many people. I might sit out at the lake. It’s a good way to relieve stress. I’ll talk to God, talk things through. Or I mean—not talking out loud to God, but more so just having conversations with God in my head. Granted, a way one conversation in my head, because generally I do most of the talking if I’m stressed. If I’m really stressed, I’ll throw something. Not that that fixes things, but I like it.
I’ll watch TV. I’ll eat—although that generally doesn’t relieve the stress, but adds to it. But for some reason I do it.
I’ll play on the internet to relieve stress. Or hang out with friends. I try not to ask people when I’m stressed to hang out with me, because I don’t want to use someone as a medication to make me feel better. I need to be able to get over things by myself. Not that I won’t on occasion have someone to vent to or be around, but I don’t want to use people in that way.
Most recently, translating Hebrew has helped a lot in de-stressing. It helps me focus a lot, it helps me get my mind off of things and than I don’t immediately get back into whatever it was that was stressing me out.
What irritates you in other people?
A lot of times it’s not what is in other people, but it is my mood, how I am reading the other person. A lot of times it’s more about me than the other person.
Sometimes I really hate it when people will just tap on things. Not always. But sometimes, when they will have something and be tapping it consistently. And that’s when I will walk over and politely take the can away. And than I feel like a jackass.
In general, the things that I am annoyed by in other people are things that I do myself. And it’s an inconsistent annoyedness. Such that, I might be annoyed with someone if they are indecisive one day and the next I won’t be. But I am constantly indecisive.
I hate it when people make a big deal about how I don’t like to make decisions. Say we are going to go out to eat. I don’t care where we go. I like everything. And than someone will say “You never make a decision. You make it tonight”. So I make the decision and THEY DON’T LIKE IT! Or they say, I don’t want to go there. Or they are passive aggressive about not liking it while in the restaurant or on the way there. And that’s part of the reason I don’t like making the decision in the first place. It drives me mad! (During this Trevar became very animated leaping up from his chair and than falling dramatically back into it). Moral of the story—don’t make Trevar decide. It’s so irritating when I truly don’t care, which is most of the time, and other people do care! Make the decision!
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