Jamie C. Hazel--Who is he?

Tell me about yourself?
Tell me about yourself. My name is Jamie. I’m 19 years old and I’m a recovering sexaholic. That’s not true. I would say something like I like music but that’s blasé and cliché because I’m pretty sure that everyone likes music. I’ve done things in my life that I’m proud of and some things that I’m not so proud of. I’m an eagle scout. I have a mohawk. I own clothes. I’m a second year junior at Gardner Webb. I’m the RA for L3 (Lutz 3rd floor). And I really enjoy playing lacrosse and my four string banjo. I play Santa at Christmas time--at day cares and stuff like that. I enjoy random acts of mischief and kindness. However I have found that most people don’t like the two combined. I enjoy reading books by Tim O’Brien especially “The Things They Carried”. And I especially like to read philosophy. But textbooks are not my forte. For some strange and ungodly reason I hate the color pink. I have ADD to the extreme. And whenever I see a Honda element (the car) I think about the commercial about the crab that says “I pinch.” If I’m really tired I will bust into spurts of laughter for no apparent reason. And one day I want to own a pipe organ.

Where were you born?
I was born in a hospital. Mary Black Hospital. Spartanburg, SC. I guess you can say that I’ve been born three times. My first birth, my spiritual birth and than another spiritual rebirth. I found life, I found Jesus, and than I found myself.

Do you have any brothers or sisters?
I have a half brother. And a half sister but she disowned the family. So I guess you could say that I have a half brother. His name is Gabriel like the angel. Except he doesn’t kill people. (How old is he?) 22? 23? No wait that’s false. He’s in his 20s I don’t know exactly. Are you close? I mean we don’t have regular phone chats but whenever we come together for like Christmas and birthdays we act like real brothers-- we fight and stuff and mess around.

Did you move around a lot as a kid?
Eh. A little bit. Whenever I was 1 1/2 we moved up to Watauga county. And we moved around a few more times in Watagua until we came to Spruce Pine in Mitchell county and then we moved down to Morganton in 2000. That’s where I live now.

Are your parents divorced?
No. They’ve been married for 20 something years.

Do you want to get married and have kids one day?
Gee whillikers that’d be great! (He had to help me spell that) Although it’s currently not looking very bright for me. I’ve had a single girlfriend my entire life and that was only for a week. Apparently most girls think I am asexual. I would like to have kid. Just because I would like to pass on the family name. And I would like have at least two kids so I can name one Jamie Junior. Or JJ for short. And than I would want to name the other one something awesome like Dorito. But it’s probably going to be Fredrick. (What if it’s a girl?) Well than we will affix the bow of shame. I’ll let my wife handle that one. I’m awesome with guy names but terrible with chick names.



How did you come to Gardner Webb?
By car. I came here because I got accepted pretty much every where that I applied but Gardner Webb was the only one that seemed to want me. They sent me a birthday card and a Christmas card and Chip Carter was a really big part of it. He called up my house one day and was like did you know that you are eligible for a full ride to Gardner Webb and I was like no and he worked with me the entire time of the application and than the day came that I finally came to GW. I didn’t get the full ride but I did get something which is better than nothing.

What do you want to do with your life?
I wanna rock! I wanna become a psychologist. Because there are people out there who need help with mental issues. I also want to go into the Air Force. And eventually hopefully get married and have kids. And I wanna move some where up north because people look at me funny when I wear short sleeves on a cold day down here. Plus, I want to take a little southern manners up to them and maybe the traffic in New York won’t be so bad if they learn to be a little more polite to them. I would like to invent wallpaper that you can lick and get taste off and invent a fruit called snozzeberry.

Are you dating someone right now?
No. Although, I am not giving up. Yet. That will be next semester.

How do you relieve stress?
I do it in a variety of ways. I write poetry. I write songs. I scream into a pillow. And if there’s a target of opportunity than I’ll whack it with my soft ball bat. Sometimes the target is a cantaloupe which makes a nice squishy thud. I do that at home. But not here…because that would probably get me arrested. I usually play it off. If I’m making a ton of jokes in a day it’s usually because I’m really stressed out. And me being a fat guy you learn to deal with stuff really quick. And comedy is one of the things that comes natural to me.

What irritates you in other people?
Being used. There is nothing worse than me feeling like I’m being used. Because than I get really paranoid and I will draw up in defensive porcupine state. I also don’t like hypocrites.

What kind of things do you like to do?
I like to sing.

I like to listen to music. That's being cliché.

I like to be random. Such things as swimming in Lake Hollifield.

I like to watch old movies that are hilarious like Dr. Strangelove.

I like to read. Especially about stuff that has no bearing on anything whatsoever.
However if I see a copy of Twilight I will be revulsed. You will be revulsed? Is that a word? To revulse. Revulsion is a word. Revulsing. I feel revulsion to a steaming pile of people. Therefore I can be revulsed at something. I don’t know if I agree with that. It kind of sounds like revolt. Like all of my senses are revolting against me picking up the book and reading it so I don’t.

I like to have interviews with my friend Courtney.

And just generally hanging out.

Killing zombies.

What do you want people to know about you?
I want them to know that I am a really cool guy and I am kind of like Dona Tello. He’s a party dude. But that’s not true. I am a really cool guy that if you would just sit and talk with me for awhile you would start to understand something like that. Because people tend to judge me on first appearance that I’m a freak or they’ll walk up in the middle of one of my awkward conversations and draw the same thoughts of freak when in all reality it’s just a normal conversation to me and if you would just stay awhile you would realize it.

It’s cool man.

If you could give one piece of advice to the world, what would it be?
I want to say something about wearing protection. But that would be too racy. Sooo…I’m going to say that the one piece of advice is...to be good to each other and stop shooting each other for Christ’s sake! There will be enough time to shoot things when the zombies rise up!

If there was one thing in the world that you could change, what would it be?
I want Johnny Cash to be back alive. He was just an awesome guy. He was a good Christian guy and a great musician. He was the voice of a generation and now he’s gone. Also that I wouldn’t be allergic to milk. That takes away a lot of ice cream.